I had a thing with a guy who was 15 years younger than me, we had a very energetic night, he lived with his Auntie at the time and we had sex all over the downstairs whilst she was away for the night. I have family where they live and never once after us flirting for a long time did and having a wild night did I know that he was actually related too me. He did message me on a few occasions wanting a repeat of our wild night and since finding out this fit young man is related I won’t be hitting him up again.

Submitted by BB

My hubby grew a beard for Movember but he decided to keep it, he never really had much of a beard before, it grew fast and it’s very wiry and bushy, I didn’t mind it until we were in bed and when it came to the Australian kiss (a kiss but down under) one of my favourite thing during sex but now it’s awful! They beard has ruined it! I feel like he is just rubbing the back of a hedgehog on me so I end up either faking it or changing positions! He knows I hate the beard but he loves it so i didn’t say why I hate it BUT I had to do something!! First he finally let me straighten it too see what it looked like but of course I was just trying get rid of the hedgehog on his face! He didn’t like it and I really didn’t it, the hedgehog was replaced with a what felt like sharp dry cactus! He was down there with the cactus beard for Literally 5 seconds and I just said “yeah I came” to stop the pain! That night I was lying in bed thinking of ideas to get my orgasm back with him snoring away beside me, then I remembered he is a heavy sleeper so I started to poke his face and nothing, he was still snored so I got the scissor out a cut bits off his beard off, the next day he ask if his beard looked different, I said “no it looks fine” and he then looked at it again and agreed! 
So my confession is when he sleeps, I trim and thin the beard a small bit very night and even put my hair softening oil on it! it’s been two weeks now and he has no idea! He doesn’t notice his beard getting smaller/thinner! I say an other two weeks of the my midnight trimming and I should get my favourite orgasm back!

Submitted by Marie

So recently I got a really nasty cough that wouldn't budge and it was so difficult to recover with 2 hyper boys and a husband who well trys to help.... Well a week later of to the doctors to be told it was pneumonia, and would pass in a week but needed to wait for some swabs to come back to say whether or not I was contagious. My husband felt awful for his lack of help and for the first ever year offered to help with all the Christmas planning and would watch the kids, and because I may of been contagious I snuggled in bed and watch Christmas movies and he did everything. Well 2 days later I got the call from the doctors giving me the all clear... I didn't tell my husband until 2 days later after he had finished wrapping the Christmas presents and house cleaning, during those 2 days I did venture downstairs to play with kids but for once I got to be the fun parent with no jobs to do! Best start to Christmas ever and my husband will never know.

Submitted by Anonymous

Don't judge me I am almost 30 years old and my daughter's dad in jail at the moment and he's been jealous since 3 days after I had our youngest daughter which is now two months and now I'm at the point where I want to have a little bit of fun I have my tubes tied now so I don't have to worry about anyting and I don't know how long my daughter's Dad's going to be in jail mind you the whole time I was pregnant he was out running around doing every wanted while I was at home pregnant taking care of not only my kids but his kids as well and the confession starts, my daughter's dad's 2 does not like me on Facebook at all he's so jealous he can handle it although I have to accept every thing that he throws at me anyways I've kind of been talking to an old fling great guy blah blah blah blah not looking to date or nothing but anyways he wants to take me out and now we've probably been talking for a few weeks and he starting it to get a little brave starting to talk about eating my goodies he says that's it that's all I want to do blah blah blah what the hell do I do this is a confession because I'm maybe even considering I don't know I'm torn up about it because what comes around goes around at the same time I don't know I'm only human I don't know how to do I hope I'm doing this whole confession thing right doing talk-to-text so God only knows what it really says and that's why you are now readingI don't know if this is going to work for this but comment below and I will take y'all's advice hopefully it's what I want to hear love always

Submitted by Anonymous

Okay, so when I was around 18 and still living at home I had an on off boyfriend. My parents went away with their friends for a long weekend (Thursday to Monday) so he basically came to stay for the whole weekend. As you can imagine we were “making the most” of the time alone, and everywhere in the house. 
Its Sunday night and we’re getting a little frisky on the sofa, when a car pulls up. In a complete panic we shove on our clothes, however not quick enough for our liking and he has to get in an under the stairs cupboard, knowing my parents would go ballistic. I leave him there whilst chatting to them, assuming they’ll want to go an unpack and get themselves sorted but no. They’ve brought chinese and want to sit down all together to eat. 
Long story short he’s in there for a good 2 and a half hours before they go upstairs and I can get him out! Safe to say we were a little more careful after haha

Submitted by  Quick get in!

When I was with my ex he had a very weird relationship with his mother, that all I heard was how his mother did a better Jobs then I did. He even once told me he heard his mum and dad having sex for over an hour and I shouldnt tire sooner and have more stamina like her. As you can imagine this was the ultimate cause to the end of our relationship..

So one evening when he got in from work I made him meatballs and pasta, and of course got his mums are so much better blah blah blah, by this point got good at ignoring him. That was the following when he tells my his mum and dad were coming over for dinner and I better cook something nice not the mess I cooks last night as he wouldn't even feed it to our dog. I was fuming. But dogs dinner left me with an idea.... A mean idea...

So as his mum and dad were sat eating dinner, his mum happened to meatballs were delicious more juicy then ever and she was impressed how the center was chunked meat, I smiled like a Cheshire cat. My boyfriend tells me it's the best thing I have ever cooked and he was so pleased I had given meatballs another try especially after how bad last night's were. I obviously didn't eat mean. After they left my boyfriend goes on about how rude I was not to eat, and how I must of brought them from a restaurant and demanded to know what was in them. I very calmly grabbed my overnight bag filled it up and as I left told him all ingredients were on the side and I was taking the dog for a walk. (with my things dumbass). Half way down the street I got a text demanding I told him it wasn't true! And that the can of dog food which I put a post note reading "meatball surprise". I just laughed told him he best go to him mum she will make it all better and never spoke to him again.

Sometime revenge really is necessary! And is OK to feel so sweet!

Submitted by Anonymous

Hello ladies! Okay so it all started when my friend gave me a coupon to go to this fancy salon and get my hair done and I thought oh my gosh this is amazing I'm working two full-time jobs I never have time for this and this will be so much fun!! So the day came and I scheduled an appointment and I got all dressed up because I wanted to look cute because every time you go to the hairdressers everybody's cute and smells pretty looks pretty so I put these cute little pants on they were little bit looser and a white top and white socks and black shoes I got in my little mustang and I drove all the way over there and I couldn't find parking so I was looking everywhere and it turned out I had to walk a little ways to the salon while I was walking I felt like I had to poop and I was like oh I'll be fine I don't have to poop that bad so I kept walking and walking then I started clenching my butt cheeks and I was thinking oh shit I'm really going to poop I'm going to poop all the sudden all the shit just came out and ran all the way down my leg into my shoes on 802to my white socks and I was horrified I had no idea what I was going to do and I only had this one coupon and I couldn't rebook so I just kept walking! I got to the salon and I said can I use your bathroom so I went into the bathroom and they had all these beautiful white fancy hand towels and I literally took all the hand towels and washed myself! All these cute girls kept coming in the bathroom I'm sure they smelled shit everywhere I couldn't believe this was actually happening to me and then I had no idea what to do with all the shity white hand towels, so I just shove them all into the period container plus my panties!! So I finally got out of the bathroom with wet shit stained pants and no underwear still smelling like shit and I sat down in this girl's chair and she walks up and she says something smells kind of weird over here I don't know what that is and I just sat there in horror!!! I thought this is the most miserable day of my life and I can't believe this is happening to me of all days I just wanted a day to celebrate myself instead I shit myself and now I'm sitting in a chair with a shity ass and this blonde is cutting my hair!!! That was the longest haircut I've ever had in my life?! Haha this was 5 years ago I'm 27 now!! I will never forget this! 😂😂

Submitted by Victory

Confession: Okay, so bit of a long one, but stay with me!

I used to work in a hotel as a house keeper. The hotel was fairly nice and we used to get a lot of older people staying in the hotel.

One day, I was changing the bedding in someone’s room when I noticed they had some dog accessories. Bowl, collar, lead..

I informed my manager - as we had a no pet policy.. She went to speak to the lady in question.

When she knocked on the door the lady answered, and she started to explain to her that obviously we didn’t allow pets. The lady started going bright red, and had to admit to my manager that the accessories weren’t actually for a dog, but for her husband!!! She told me, and I wanted the world to swallow both of us up!!

Submitted by Doggy Style

When I was 16 and in my first real sexual relationship, I was obviously still living at home me and a boyfriend were getting frisky on the sofa. It then started to escalate and one thing led to another, he was giving me oral on the sofa and the front door went. No one was meant to be home for a few hours so I started to panic, in strolls my bloody dad! We both quickly jump up and sat bolt up right waiting for a smack or a screaming at, my dad casually looks at me then my boyfriend then the floor. He walks forward kicks my underwear at me and goes "alright" and walks into the kitchen, I've never been more embarrassed. We literally grabbed our shit got dressed and legged it out the house, I was petrified to come home encase he told my mum. To this day my mum never knew Haha.

Submitted by Tillie

So when I was younger I really really fancied this guy that was on the outskirts of our friend group. One night I invited everyone back to my flat after a night out, hoping he would come too. He did!!! I was so excited and very drunk. I managed to orchestrate him staying and everyone else leaving.
Hoorah I had him to myself!!!! Trying to be a mix of mysterious elegance and playful tease, I decided to do a headstand. I don’t know why, I’d never done one before. I was in a skirt and I asked him to catch my legs. As I drunkenly attempted my headstand, my legs, very inelegantly, fell agape. He politely gathered my wayward limbs and in a very gentlemanly gesture put my legs together again.
Unfortunately I’d obviously gathered some air during my acrobatic manoeuvre and as he pushed my legs together the loudest muff guff, fanny fart, queef....whatever you care to call it exited my body with such force I swear to god his hair moved. I was devastated and we both froze exactly as we were. Him holding my legs with a look of disgust on his face and me in a headstand, blushing red, with my skirt around my middle and my knickers on show. Neither of us acknowledged the muff guff, which was hilarious cos it had the volume of an elephants trumpet. He gently lowered me down and gathered his things. I never saw him again

Anonymous submission

When I was a child I pooped behind a tent and cleaned my butt with a slice of bread. LOL

Anonymous submission

When I was in my early 20s and living 2 hours away from home to attend college, I would often go home on the weekends to visit my mom. One particular weekend, I was in my room at my mom’s house. It was late and she was asleep and I was watching TV when all of a sudden I felt the urge to grab my vibrator for some me time. I went over to my duffel bag and started rummaging through the contents looking for it. I emptied the bag and it was nowhere to be found. I had a sneaking suspicion. Later the next day, I went into my mom’s room and looked through her drawers and there it was, my vibrator! I promptly took it out of the drawer, washed it, and put it back in my bag in my room. Later that night, I go to use it and it’s gone again! Sure enough, it was in my mom’s drawer. I took it back for a second time and hid it somewhere else. I think she got the hint after two times, which is good because I was too embarrassed to confront my mom and tell her that vibrators are not for sharing! Not between mother and daughter at least. 😂

Anonymous submission

So a few years ago it was early in the morning and we were all still in bed. My other half decided it would be a good time to have sex...I was still half asleep so "we started" however rather than taking my underwear off he just slid it to the side 😂😂 then after around 30 seconds he says "urgh your on your period" I said "no I can't be it's only been a week since I finished my last one" he "pulls out" and suddenly blood is spurting out all over the bedroom from his dick! He had sliced his frenium on my knickers 😂😂😂 he was screaming at me to call an ambulance but I told him there was no way I was saying that on the phone 😂😂 then to make matters worse our 4 year old son walked in and witnessed the bloodbath and where it was coming from 😂😂 my partner rang the ambulance and a first responder turned up and even he couldn't keep a straight face which set me off into hysterics. Long story short he couldn't have sex for 6 weeks and he's never tried it on again while I'm still half asleep 😂😂👌

Submitted by Becky

It happened last Saturday night, I was "out on the town". Kids free night, adult conversation and lots... And LOTS of alcohol. There's been road works happening on the main road which leads to our housing cul de sac. So I didn't get dropped off at my door and I staggered out of the taxi and headed home.

We recently moved house to a beautiful new development and all the houses are shiny and new and pretty much identical. So, I found my door, struggling to find my keys and then the almighty task of putting them into the door was happening. I could not get my keys to turn! Was not happening. Well, I could barely walk so of course I wouldn't be able to open my front door. So, I prayed my husband left the door open and I reached for the handle. Thank god, it was unlocked! Place was in darkness,

There I climb up the stairs, take off my shoes and my t-shirt and just climbed into bed. There, lying in the bed was my husband, so I went to give him a cuddle goodnight and I noticed how he must have lost some weight and been doing some working out. How did I not notice?? Well.... I got wakened by a bright light to my right hand side. There he was, lying next to me. MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR!!! Turns out I didn't notice I went into the Wrong coloured door and somehow did not recognise my own bed!!! I climbed into my neighbours bed!!! I was in shock, thankfully he just laughed and helped me go next door and used my keys to unlock my door. I am considering the possibility, I may need to move house again 😂

Submitted by whenitstime13

So embarrassing. Oke here it is. So this one day in feb 2009. We went to a steakhouse for we thought was my sisters birthday. But no they announced their engagement. We had a lovely time. Stuffed our faces and we’re about to leave. So I was driving home with my parents (lived at home at that moment) and I told them I had to go and use the bathroom first. Did that and we started driving home. All of a sudden. I think we were at 1/3 home. My stomach felt a bit upset. So I asked my father to stop at a gas station so I could do a number 2. Nothing open (22.50) so I started crying and asked him to run a red light so I could go at macdonalds. We arrived close to 23.00 and they turned the locks on the door. They saw me running. I explained that I really really really had to use the bathroom with tears in my eyes. And that girl laughed and said no. So I went back to the car. My dad said hop on. I’ve got an idea. He went to the back of the restaurant. And said to me. Dump your shit behind this Container. Guess what. Hmhmmm I took the most enormous shit. At the backfiring of macdonalds. Wiped my ass with dads handkerchief and laughed. The first one out would step in my shit. 😂. Never ever felt guilty. I do feel a bit ashamed. But he. It’s 10 years ago. Still proud of the pile 💩

Submitted by peetiej

OK Tova I'm ready to fess up! Sometimes when i go toilet, if i think it's going to be a really big poo, i weigh myself before & after, just for fun experiments!!! Lol! Am i the only one who does this??? It's so juvenile, but i just find it funny 🤣🤣🤣 love you btw xx Averil in New Zealand

Submitted by Averil

So I am a Vermont girl who lives with her husband and 6 children three years ago my husband moved us all (at the time just us and 4 kids) well after several months of living there I met this guy had a brief affair and fell pregnant.....which is crazy because my husband had a vasectomy after our fourth child anyway I hid the pregnancy for months he saw a message on my phone and was furious by then the affair was over as I ended it it slowly forgave me we lived back to Vermont where I had my first ultrasound showing I was having twins crazy right let me add this was my very first time being unfaithful it's not who I am my husband and I have a rocky past where he was a drunk and unfaithful ALOT now we are in an amazing place though couldn't be happier so back to the twins I should add both my husband and I are white and the other guy is African American so time to have the babies both boys well I now have a Brown 17 month old boy and and very white 17 month old boy the odds are slim but I may have gotten pregnant by both my husband and the man I had the affair with.

Submitted by Victoria

So I got engaged in the Dominican Republic. I “accidentally” found my engagement ring in my husbands suitcase when I was looking for my books and he was taking his usual 30 minute dump. I had a quick look and put it back. Three days later he still hasn’t asked me so I was on the beach and said I needed to go back up to the room to get another book (I did) and I tried it on and put it back. He still has no idea. We also smoked a cigar when he finally asked me and I didn’t inhale but man did it on agree with me. So right after he asked me to marry him I walked into a patio window and threw up 6 times.

Submitted by jadper_and_Jeanette

When my little girl was a new born, I was sat on sofa cuddling her in whilst being on the laptop. I needed a drink so placed my baby on sofa and laptop on floor cane back from the kitchen and realised I'd put baby on floor and laptop on sofa hahaha!😂

Submitted by Alice

Before I met my husband, my cousin tried to fix me with guy. 5 minutes into our date I realized I'm wasting my time and just wanted to get this over with. Fast forward to 5 years later. A friend of my husband is throwing a party to all of his and his wife's friends....as we walk in I spot this failing date guy, and feeling so embarrassed as my husband's friend introduces us to him and his wife.....

I basically changed colors there and just wanted to disappear, not saying a word to my husband of course......but as we drove back home, while processing the whole situation, I started laughing at the whole thing....my husband was asking me what was so funny.....so I told him the truth saying -'babe don't feel bad about this but remember X from the party? I dated him once....'

then he started laughing so loudly without me knowing what's going on....so I said -'what the hell is so funny? And then he said -'.don't take this the wrong way but I dated his wife once...'

Submitted by mirihil