Back in my early 20's I was a mate on a fishing boat. Very unheard of at the time to have a girl net, filet, hook bait, tie lines, set an anchor, engine watch, take out tangles. And all of the other wonderful jobs you do on a fishing boat. Our cook didnt show up that morning. So needless to say "galley was closed". Fair warning to all customers to go buy something before we were to leave the harbor. Now mind you it's about a 4 hour trip. We were doing a few of these a day. About 30 minutes into the trip I was asked if I could make a burger for this man. Wonder why I was asked when we had 2 other "male" mates working with me. (Let you in on a little secret, I was also owner of the boat and operation) So, I wash the squid ink off my hands. I was in the middle of dicing up a big ass squid for bait. Now that smell and stain from the ink does not come off very easily! Once again I wonder why he asked me?? The other 2 mates weren't cutting up bait!! SO I proceed to fix him his burger. After a few minutes he brings me back a half eaten burger and told me it was not done enough!! I go back and fix him another. Sure as shit he was back to tell me it was done to much!!@#$%& This guy could of cared less about his burger. I was up in my wheelhouse watching and listening to him tell his buddies I had no place being on deck and I should be in the GALLEY! Well, let's just say his 3ed burger was a very special one
And he actually enjoyed it and had the nerve to tell me it was delish!!" The look on his face when I was shaking customers hands and thanking them for fishing on my boat at the end of the trip, Fucking Pricless Day!!

Submitted by Mate

Telling my kids McDonald's was closed as we drove past it because truly I wasn't stopping on my way to my mum's house to drop them off while I pretended to be sick to get some time off.

Submitted by Nikki

I’m not sure if you’ll remember me but a couple years ago I sent in a confession.. wasn’t much of a confession but more of a love story? About my partner and I because we use to work at the same place and we used to fool around at work?

Well since then I showed him your fb page and he watched the video where you read my story and now he follows you too.
We’re Still engaged but now we have two babies and are already working on our third.
I’m now a stay at home mum so the work thing ended. However we do still sneak around if we’re at his mums and there’s a few people there we do sneak off upstairs to one of the spare rooms so the ‘romance’ hasn’t died
But honestly you are truly an amazing person!!
Just incase you haven’t been told today.... we love you

Submitted by Claire

When my partner annoys me, I put his toilet brush down the tooth brush, dry it off and put it back. Saves a hell of a lot of arguments getting my frustration out that way

Submitted by Toilet tooth brush

When I was 16 and in my first real sexual relationship, I was obviously still living at home me and a boyfriend were getting frisky on the sofa. It then started to escalate and one thing led to another, he was giving me oral on the sofa and the front door went. No one was meant to be home for a few hours so I started to panic, in strolls my bloody dad! We both quickly jump up and sat bolt up right waiting for a smack or a screaming at, my dad casually looks at me then my boyfriend then the floor. He walks forward kicks my underwear at me and goes "alright" and walks into the kitchen, I've never been more embarrassed. We literally grabbed our shit got dressed and legged it out the house, I was petrified to come home encase he told my mum. To this day my mum never knew Haha.

Submitted by Tillie

I was once trying to show off while in the bedroom. I was performing oral sex and....I vomited because of gagging and he had NO idea.

Anonymous submission

I'm 36 years old and never had an orgasm!

Anonymous submission

So this story came to light years later. When I was a kid. My father had this hand held vibrating massager that my mom bought him. Which he never used. So what J would play with it. On my neck shoulders and such I discovered that down felt nice. So anyway I discovered that and did that ALL the time. Wellll... Years later and talking like sisters do. I shared this same story.... And learned that my SISTER was doing the SAME thing 😲😲😲😲😲😲 .... Luckily we both had sense to wash it after but the thought that we had both been violating this back massager... 😨😨😨 That's just sister bonding on a level I NEVER wanted to be on!

Submitted by Sisters!

I had a one night stand once. Unfortunately I had beans and rice the day before. I don't know, I didn't assume I would have the fortune of meeting that guy, I guess ki have to ad that he was a friend of my best friend). So as we where having fun I had to fart. It was a silent cute fart. I was trying to act as if I had no idea of what happened. But apologized several times when he started complaining about what had happened. I was shocked and almost started to cry. It was the most embarrassing thing.

I thought things couldn't get any worse.

He got up, pulled out his wallet and gave me 100 bucks. I refused to take it, he put it on my drawer and left.

I went to a sex shop and asked for a porn which includes farts and that stuff. I got him that and added a nice card with "I like you, even though you smell" written on. I wrote on the back "thank you for leaving your money at my house. I invested it in things you like"

I went to his apartment and left it all wrapped up nicely in a trash bag.

Unfortunately I had to see him every now and then but I pretended as if nothing ever happened. Even though I was slowly dying inside lol.

Anonymous submission

So after years and years of me being the only person this household to be able to actually do anything housework wise, I’ve decided that to give myself some entertainment I mess about with my partners things. So for example when I put his clothes away I put them away really messy so they all crease up, he for ever asked what happens to his stuff and I say that you must mess it all up when you get dressed. Anyway a few days ago I was messing up all his clothes (again for my entertainment) and my daughter walks in. She asks what I was doing and I said I’m playing a game with daddy. She then replied with ‘ like the wrestling game you and daddy was playing the other night’ in my shock I asked her what she meant. She said she saw us in bed wrestling and wanted to know what kind of wrestling it is if your clothes need to be on the floor. I literally died inside. Anyway later on that night, she was playing with her dad in the living room and out of no where suddenly heard her shout ‘ pants off daddy’ my partner looked at me in shock and I said she saw and also heard us ‘ wrestling’ the other night.

Anonymous submission

So when I was younger I really really fancied this guy that was on the outskirts of our friend group. One night I invited everyone back to my flat after a night out, hoping he would come too. He did!!! I was so excited and very drunk. I managed to orchestrate him staying and everyone else leaving.
Hoorah I had him to myself!!!! Trying to be a mix of mysterious elegance and playful tease, I decided to do a headstand. I don’t know why, I’d never done one before. I was in a skirt and I asked him to catch my legs. As I drunkenly attempted my headstand, my legs, very inelegantly, fell agape. He politely gathered my wayward limbs and in a very gentlemanly gesture put my legs together again.
Unfortunately I’d obviously gathered some air during my acrobatic manoeuvre and as he pushed my legs together the loudest muff guff, fanny fart, queef....whatever you care to call it exited my body with such force I swear to god his hair moved. I was devastated and we both froze exactly as we were. Him holding my legs with a look of disgust on his face and me in a headstand, blushing red, with my skirt around my middle and my knickers on show. Neither of us acknowledged the muff guff, which was hilarious cos it had the volume of an elephants trumpet. He gently lowered me down and gathered his things. I never saw him again

Anonymous submission