My husband has been the happy recipient of some extra hand jobs lately. Little does he know, but we are competing against each other for steps on our Fitbit. The overall winner of the week gets a massage or other nice “bedroom” choice... guess what?! hand jobs counts as steps! That is my secret to beating him every time I’m a little behind! Could call this a win-win situation?
Submitted by anonymous
Been married for 10 years, and I’ve finally told my husband I can only get off with a vibrator 😂 I told him out last baby broke my vagina.
Submitted by Happyhippymama
This one time at my good friends wedding I couldn’t get my spanx down fast enough trying to pee so I ended up peeing straight through them. I ended up throwing them in the garbage and leaving the venue commando...😓
Submitted by Anonymous
So, I was once in a relationship with a guy that I apparently didn't know as well as I should have before I moved in with him... We had a blender family. His 3 kids, my 2 and 1 together.. 3 boys, 3 girls.. The Brady Bunch without Alice... Anyways.. I couldn't figure out why his family mistrusted him, and actually me too. I thought they should like me... I've stepped in taking care of his children... they no longer had to... Eventally the truth began to surface.. had a bit of a problem telling the truth. He worked full time.. even on Saturday he got up early to go to work... Or so I thought. One Saturday I called his work (pre-cellphone era) I found out he didn't work Saturdays and hardly ever met 40 hrs which is full time here. Here I was taking care of 6 children ages 8, 7, 6, 5, 2 and a baby plus neighbor kids...and he was having free time doing who knows what. I stayed calm played along and just watched and waited... I figured out he ūding time
Submitted by Shaela
We were at a festival when a girl we knew accused me of stealing her cigarettes.. i was so angry when she left her tent i went and took a shit in her sleeping bag.. it was hilarious when she got back in it with her bare feet and no clothes 🤢😂
Submitted by Jessica Austin
So my confession is rather childish.... One of my sons Christmas presents came in the mail, and I opened the box(which had a lot of paper in it thank god!) But he came into my room and started to open it, and I literally screamed at him, "NO PARKER!! DONT OPEN THAT! ITS NOT OUR MAIL!! IF WE OPEN IT WE'LL LITERALLY GO TO JAIL!!" at which point he looks like someone just shocked him with a cattle prod, backing up with practically tears in his eyes, and just mutters under his breath, "....I dont want to go to jail" So I may or may not have ruined the Christmas spirit in my house 🤣🤣😭😭💔
Submitted Anonymous
Okay, so several years ago I had a rather hot bailiff knock on my door looking for someone who had previously lived there. I had literally just got out the shower as it was like 730am, my daughter had already left for school, I ran down the stairs thinking it was the postman. So there’s me in all my moistness from the shower and opened the door to this guy who looking like magic mike (honestly tall dark and handsome is an understatement!😍😮) I was in a towel and not a big one 😂. So I said can I help, he explained he was looking for someone and I basically had to prove I wasn’t that person, so rather than stand on my doorstep looking like something from pretty women I said to him to come in whilst I got my driving license.... turned out i gave him more than my driving license....8 hours later he left my house with a whole lot less than he came in with, literally!! It was one of the best sex sessions I ever had! Never saw or spoke to him again😂😂
Submitted by Annonymous
My hubby grew a beard for Movember but he decided to keep it, he never really had much of a beard before, it grew fast and it’s very wiry and bushy, I didn’t mind it until we were in bed and when it came to the Australian kiss (a kiss but down under) one of my favourite thing during sex but now it’s awful! They beard has ruined it! I feel like he is just rubbing the back of a hedgehog on me so I end up either faking it or changing positions! He knows I hate the beard but he loves it so i didn’t say why I hate it BUT I had to do something!! First he finally let me straighten it too see what it looked like but of course I was just trying get rid of the hedgehog on his face! He didn’t like it and I really didn’t it, the hedgehog was replaced with a what felt like sharp dry cactus! He was down there with the cactus beard for Literally 5 seconds and I just said “yeah I came” to stop the pain! That night I was lying in bed thinking of ideas to get my orgasm back with him snoring away beside me, then I remembered he is a heavy sleeper so I started to poke his face and nothing, he was still snored so I got the scissor out a cut bits off his beard off, the next day he ask if his beard looked different, I said “no it looks fine” and he then looked at it again and agreed!
So my confession is when he sleeps, I trim and thin the beard a small bit very night and even put my hair softening oil on it! it’s been two weeks now and he has no idea! He doesn’t notice his beard getting smaller/thinner! I say an other two weeks of the my midnight trimming and I should get my favourite orgasm back!
Submitted by Marie
So recently I got a really nasty cough that wouldn't budge and it was so difficult to recover with 2 hyper boys and a husband who well trys to help.... Well a week later of to the doctors to be told it was pneumonia, and would pass in a week but needed to wait for some swabs to come back to say whether or not I was contagious. My husband felt awful for his lack of help and for the first ever year offered to help with all the Christmas planning and would watch the kids, and because I may of been contagious I snuggled in bed and watch Christmas movies and he did everything. Well 2 days later I got the call from the doctors giving me the all clear... I didn't tell my husband until 2 days later after he had finished wrapping the Christmas presents and house cleaning, during those 2 days I did venture downstairs to play with kids but for once I got to be the fun parent with no jobs to do! Best start to Christmas ever and my husband will never know.
Submitted by Anonymous
One summer evening, many years ago, I was 18 & my boyfriend @ the time was also 18. We decided it would be fun to have sex in his parents van. His parents had left on a dinner/movie date & were not expected to return for a few hours so we went for it. While in the heat of the moment I thought I seen headlights we stopped a few min didn't see anyone so we continued on. Because vehicle sex can be quite uncomfortable we decided to switch positions & just as my boyfriend lifted his head he looks over & he realizes he's staring into the eyes of his mother!!! We quickly get dressed. His parents had already gone inside & he asked me to sit on the porch swing with him a min until he felt comfortable enough to go inside, so I did. His dad comes out... sits on the swing with us!!! & says "WELL SON DID YOU GET TO FINISH?!!" OMG Most embarrassing moment of my entire life!!! I immediately left & went home! I could never look @ his father the same!!!
Submitted by Anonymous
It was my sons 10th birthday recently and he was given a giant bar of galaxy chocolate. The other evening I was feeling pretty shit after having to deal with his sisters who are 13&15 and both on there period omg so moody I decided to hide in my bedroom under the covers and eat 80% of his chocolate bar and later when he was looking for it some how convinced him he had eaten most of it already and shared the rest with his sister and did it with no guilt what so ever lol does that make me evil hahaha.
Submitted by Louise
Once when I was very very pregnant,my husband and I were waiting in line for ice cream and I happened to get a whiff of something that smelled just like Pee after you eat asparagus and it’s so gross. So I’m looking around trying to figure out where the smells coming from and who are around me has Peed their pants when I realize that I am the one who recently eat asparagus and have Peed my pants.
Submitted by H Marie
My husband had sex with one of my friends, which happened to be the wife of my husband's best friend too. To get revenge, I slept with my husband's co-worker (they were spending 12 hours a day together, 15 days/month). One day, me and this guy were having sex in the car and my husband called me. I obviously did not reply, but then he called this boy for some work arrangements, and he did pick up the phone. I was on top of him while he was talking with my husband on the phone and I was kissing (to read: fu*king) him and moaning in his other ear. I felt soooo good, like my revenge is finally complete. Looking back now, I was a bitch ... Oh and my husband eventually found out that I had cheated on him with this boy ...
Submitted by Anonymous
Hey you guys, this one is a weird one. So I’m 48. Single and had a man in his late 20’s chasing me. I knew it was just fwb but hey he was hot and it had been a while. He called me one night to say he was coming over. So quickly ran around tidying up, removing the errant hair here if there. I made my bed. White damask duvet etc and went to do my makeup. Quick check revealed the few grey hairs at my crown of my head and I have dead straight long black hair. So I used a quick root spray on my hair. It’s jet black easy to match. So he arrives, it’s hit and heavy really quickly. He’s very athletic and very sensual running his hands through my hair and we had fun for a few hours. He left around 1am and I saw him out if my apartment and noticed when he touched my wall he left a hand print. That wasn’t the worst if it. I turned around, walked to my bedroom and looked at my bed. It looked like a coal miner Had been rolling around on my bed for hours. My face had black sploges all over it. Part of my body and I could have cried. Haven’t seen him since but honestly I wish I’d taken a photo of the bed.
Submitted by Kate
I love the dusty smell that you get in tube/subway stations. I think it might be because it reminds me of Petrichor (the smell you get after rain on dry soil) I've been told that's weird. Is there a smell that you find pleasant that others don't?
Submitted by Pern