When I was younger and sexually inexperienced, I read Cosmo magazine every month religiously. Well in an article it said to insert your finger in the bum of your partner right as he ""finishes."" So I finally work up the nerve and I'm thinking to myself that I'm going to try it. So...right when my boyfriend (husband now) ""finished"" I took my pointer finger and shoved it in his bum. No warning...no wetting the finger...no small finger. I went all in. Cosmo left out some very important details here. My boyfriend's junk shriveled up inside him and he was petrified with his eyes bulging. Needless to say...the mood was ruined and I've NEVER tried again

Anonymous submission

I want to quit my job, leave my boyfriend and pursue my dreams, but in the end i am always to afraid to do it. So I just continue to daydream about it.

Anonymous submission

Another gross confession after pooping on my toddlers nappy to collect a sample...(sure Mike will remember this one). I signed up for a park run with toddler and family. Before the start I needed desperately to pee. (Yes, another gross one) the toilet in the park was 20p and I have nothing. No one is there except for another lady with no money also waiting for a salvation or someone to give her 20p... I noticed that the baby changing cubicle is a separate thing AND it’s open AND had a sink. Well... I had no choice, grabbed the child, blasted baby shark on my phone and peed on the sink. Left like nothing happened and feeling like a winner until she goes on repeating to my in-laws “mommy pee sink” “pee sink!” Thanks baby girl this is not how we do it...

Anonymous submission

I lied about having to work so i didn't have to go on a school trip with my sons class.

Submitted by Gemma

So back when I was in college near San Francisco in the ‘90 a group of girlfriends and I went to a women’s focused sex shop (high end, clean, classy toys) and stocked up on toys for our pleasure. I graduated and was not going anywhere with our my battery operated boyfriend (Bob) so I pack it up very carefully in a box and promptly forgot about. My parents and I get back to my hometown and I have to decide which boxes go into storage until I find a job and which go back to my childhood home. We find an unlabelled box, my father reaches a hand in and pulls out my vibrator. My father being the good catholic father of what he assumes is a virginal 22 year old, freaks out. I claim the vibrator was a gag gift from some college friends. Dad tosses the vibrator in the trash. After he turns away, I grab it and stash it in my purse. I glance over at my mom and she is not saying a word but watching the whole thing with a knowing look.

Submitted by Alison

My toddler’s nan asked if I’d like her to babysit while I ran some errands, yes great! I had full intentions and wonderful expectations of doing the food shop, going to the post office, hoovering the house, prepping the dinner... I sat in McDonald’s car park, ate 2 happy meals and had the best laugh I’d had in months listening to your podcasts, although I did get a few strange looks eating my cheeseburger laughing in hysterics

Submitted by Gemma H